Pro 13:10 argument only comes by pride, but wisdom is with
those who take advice.
Pro 17:14 the beginning of strife is like the releasing of
water, therefore leave off fighting before it breaks out.
Pro 30:33 -Just as
whipping milk produces butter, and twisting the nose causes bleeding, so also
stirring up anger produces contention.
Pro 15:18 -The quickly angered man stirs up contention, but
anyone who controls his temper calms a dispute.
Pro 26:4- Answer not a fool according to his foolishness,
lest you become like him
Explanation:
“A fool can ask more than ten wise men can answer.” To bandy words with him, is to descend to his level. When you recognizes
such questions or statements are foolish and can lead to an argument don't buy into them. When you do you are giving sanction to them as being valid and places yourself on the same mental playing field of logic and reasoning as the fool.
Pro 26:5- Answer a fool according to his foolishness, that
he not be wise in his own eyes.
Explanation:At first it seems there is an contradiction here between proverbs 26:4 and proverbs 26:5 but there isn't. The negative means, we are not to debate with a fool in their style and spirit, and thus become like him. We are not to descend to his level of speech and temper and become entangled in arguments and debate. The fool although lacking wisdom is often a great debater.
The positive means is to answer with wisdom which draws the fool to a higher plain. Through a soft answer using knowledge skillfully which is to make knowledge (pleasant, acceptable, beautiful, cheerful, kind, happy and sweet) and tempering our response with love we are to answer him as his folly deserves.
Pro 15:1-2- A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (2) The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright.
Pro 15:28-The heart of the righteous muses (ponders) how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.
Pro 15:23-What a joy it is to find just the right word for
the right occasion!
Pro 16:21- The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and
the sweetness of the lips increases learning.
Pro 16:23-The heart of the wise makes his mouth prudent, and
he adds learning on his lips.
Pro 16:24- Pleasant words are an overflowing of honey,
sweetness to the soul and healing to the bones.Explanation:
It may be by silence
as well as speech one answers. Until one can respond in a wise manner and with a spirit
controlled by love it is best to not respond.
A simple reply of, “Interesting, I’ll ponder it and get back after I’ve
had some time to think about it.” Being humble and calm and saying you will consider a matter before you reply is better that speaking rashly. It is always best to ponder your words in the light of God's wisdom and give yourself time to develop the right spirit and choose your words carefully before you speak. Sometimes you will conclude there is nothing you want to say or that no good can come of from a discussion. So you can reply something like, "I've considered the matter and concluded friends don't always have to agree on everything"
Pro 26:21- As coal to burning embers, and wood to fire, so
is a contentious (quarrelling) man to kindle strife.
Pro 10:12 Hatred stirs up arguments but love covers all
sins. Pro 28:25-He that is of a proud heart stirs up strife: but he that puts
his trust in the LORD shall be made fat (prospers or is abundantly satisfied)Explanation:
Even if both sides think they are presenting their disagreement in a civil manner feelings can get hurt. Then hurt feelings can turn to bitterness. Bitterness is like a coal which can linger and later start a heated disagreements. Choosing to delay a discussion to be a friend and asking God for wisdom and the right words and time to say them is better than to satisfy our desire to express our disagreement.
